Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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