The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
