We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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