Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
