What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
