Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
