I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
