Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
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