Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
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I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
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I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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