you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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