Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I think my fart just growled at me.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
