Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
