3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
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