you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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