hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I currently don't understand fingers.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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