to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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