I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
