I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
