Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
