We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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