I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
