She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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