i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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