another moral hangover. fuck.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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