A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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