but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
