Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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