Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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