I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
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there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
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I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
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