you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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