Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
