I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
