just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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