I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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