So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
