Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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