My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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