I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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