are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Randomize
