I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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