afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
My vagina just clenched in fear
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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