ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize