It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
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