she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Randomize
