the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
