i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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