I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
you didnt know i had herpes?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize