We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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