You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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