fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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