I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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