i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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