Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
We don't watch enough power rangers
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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