Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
