CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
