turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
