as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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