Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
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We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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