There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
