dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
