so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
