It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
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